TANGO SUEÑO...TANGO LESSON #5

INTENSE. You have to get into the intensity of the dance, your partner, the music, the drama of it all. You have to be fearless. You have to trust your body and allow it to be seduced. This is the Tao of Tango.

It is indeed intense with us. More intense than I could have ever dreamed up. We are explosive. We are gentle. I have never in my life felt this kind of passion. My body responds as if it has a will of its own. He catches me off guard. He sees me. He sees me in ways that so many did not, could not, would not. He asks if I am trying to blow his mind...truth be told he is blowing mine.

Tango is more intense than I thought possible. I knew of the history and I have been in awe as well as inspired by those who dance the Tango. It is the most seductive dance and greedily requires you to surrender. I surrender. I am surrendering.

He loves me. Always has. I love him. Always have. Our friendship transcends time and space. That will not change...this love. What looms on the horizon is how to join our lives. Should we join our lives. Perhaps the intensity will burn out and we will leave each other to our lives. Perhaps the intensity will bond us...like hot molten steel constructing a new foundation which to build upon.

I am committed to the Tango. It speaks to my sexual feminine. I feel like a woman in love.

I am a woman in love.

The Love Story continues...

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: WHAT DO YOU NEED?

Inspired by one of my favorite blog sisters, Kay C, The Quiet Storm On Her blog she posted the question asked by a commenter to her blog post Answers to Who are you, and what do you want?

WHAT DO YOU NEED? Is so in line with WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Beyond the basic human needs of food shelter and clothing, what do I need? What do I need to make my life better? What do I need to have more love, joy, happiness? I am clear about what I want. But what I need? seems to be tricky and illusive. Sure I can rattle off a laundry list of things needed. I can articulate all the things I need done in my home and in my yard. Hell I can even tell you want needs to be done to my car. What I think this question asks is a much more deeper concern. I believe this question asks me to dig deeper and wrestle with what love, joy and happiness means to me. I need those things. I NEED LOVE, JOY AND HAPPINESS. So then in needing those things I have to define them for myself and articulate what LOVE, JOY AND HAPPINESS looks like. If I have no idea what they look like then how pray tell will I recognize them when they arrive? This warrants further discernment and meditation.

What do you need?

Who are you and what do you want?

GERALD LEVERT...YOU GOT THAT LOVE

So He sang this to me after we made love. A few days later we heard it on the radio. We danced to it in the livingroom. He shhhhished me to just listen. LOL! I was flattered...more than flattered, I was THRILLED!



[Intro]
Baby, baby, baby, baby

1 - You got that
That it's too good I don't deserve it kinda love
That girl I'm calling in sick to work kinda love
The sweat it funkey dope kinda love
That's what you got
That call it a night kinda love

2 - That girl's so down I'm about to bust kinda love
That don't stop girl, get it get it kinda love
That back it up, break it off hip was knockin' kinda love
That's what you got
Call it a night kinda love

Baby, I think I'm coming home early
Cuz girl my body's yearning
For what you did last night
Cuz when you did it
Ooh it didn't make no sense
Cuz girl you know you know you know you know
That you sure got a brother spinnin'

Repeat 1
Repeat 2

Baby, wish you could feel what I was feeling
Cuz girl when I'm inside you
Girl, I'm so complete
Cuz when we're apart
I'm only half the man
That I am with you
And it's you that I need
And all of that, all of that

Repeat 1
Repeat 2

No telephones ringing
No ?? singing
Don't wanna see no TV
I just wanna be sleeping
The way you put it on me
Baby girl, you show me
That I ain't never leaving
You got the lovin' I'm needing
Said you got that

Turn the blue line in the basement kinda love
Ooh girl I wanna slap your mama kinda love
That funkey dope kinda love
That's what you got
That call it a night kinda love

Repeat 2

You got that love
That kind of love
That L-O-V-E love
That's what you got

You've got that love
That kind of love
That L-O-V-E love
That's what you got

FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: ALLOW LOVE TO BE LOVE

I am finding that all I have to do is stand in the place that love dwells and let love do the rest. When true love is present, all that it asks, is that you open your heart. Accept the gift and then share it.

I am standing in that place where love dwells. I would have missed it if I were in a different place in my heart and mind and spirit. I was not ready last year or the year before. Everything in my life brings me to this moment. The stars are aligned and I am standing here taking it all in without fear and reservation. I asked. I received.

I do think of tomorrow but it does not over shadow my right now. This is a place of happiness right now. I am feeling strong and loved and focused and happy. Happy being the new order of the day.

We must allow love to be love. Love does not ask us to define, spin or defend. It only asks that we allow it to dwell, grow and spread. How divine. Love is not illusory, it is a living, breathing activity...a state of being. I love my kids. I love my friends. I love being alive. It is all love. I know there are those who will compartmentalize love for the sake of defining the differences of love of family, lovers, friends, objects. But I say Love IS. All Love is love. I will say our expressions of love is truly what people are really referring to when they say the love for their children is different than love of a lover. All love is love.

The real key for me is allowing love to be love and not try to make it into something I want from my ego's perspective. Love is about being humble and gracious and open to the spirit of another.

The Love Story continues...

Always asking the question: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?

TANGO SUEÑO...TANGO LESSON #4

YOU GOTTA FEEL THE PASSION. YOU GOTTA TAP THAT INNER SEX APPEAL. YOU GOTTA FEEL THE AROUSAL. THIS IS THE TAO OF TANGO.

It took me all class to get the ouchos...forward and backwards. So much about Tango is feeling. You have to be prepared to go there...tap that sexual energy. Otherwise you are wasting your time. Tango is about putting your sexy...arousal...passion... on display. It is about the beauty of movement between a man and a woman. It is unlocking secrets. It is being honest and letting go of inhibitions.

My Love and I got past our little rough patch yesterday. I walked forward and dropped my stance. I surrendered. He reached out to me and was kind and generous. It is amazing how past relationships can haunt the present ones. You gotta be prepared to let go and stand fully in the new found love. It is about he and I right now in this space. Real. Raw. Loving. You have to be willing to work. WORK! WORK! WORK! And you gotta work with a sense of willingness, joy and commitment to love.

God has answered my prayer, now I must stand in reciept of my gift with gratitude.

The Love Story continues....

TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: TIME AS A BARRIER

So much of what we want for ourselves is based on time...time for love...time to break up ...time to move on.... time to discern.

I am learning that time really has no real relevance to love. As I am fond of saying and repeating from the A Course in Miracles LOVE waits on Welcome...Not on TIME. It means that you can welcome love into your life and heart at any given moment. Not solely when it's convenient for you. The heart is an a amazing thing, it knows how to beat on its own. It does not need us to sit and clock its beats. Love is like that too. If we allow love to set in, it too will thrive.

I am in love with someone who is so conscious of time and planning that I am ready to walk away. When someone is constantly throwing time around what they are really saying is the love that you have to give them in this moment is not what their time allows for. And you have to recognize if someone has real time for love. If they do not and you are not honest then you start the convincing cycle. The place where you do your hardest to make them see that you are worth their time if they would take the time to see you. I have long since decided to give up the convincing mode and I am not going back. You see I am not interested in the potential for love.

I am interested in the now-ness of love. The readiness of love. This is where it gets tricky for people. They think that if they hang in with someone...wait someone out, be accommodating that the love they want will happen. No. This is just holding time....spending time with no real sense of love being showered on you. I am not interested in this either. Using time as barrier against getting the love we all say we want is a cowards way of not living with a full heart. You can not time stamp love. If we could, we all would schedule falling in love at the most opportune time. When we are at our best and our lives our happy and harmonious. But our whispers and prayers for GOD to send someone our way is always in the most desperate of hours....when loneliness is overwhelming and standing alone is painful to the touch. I have been there.

This falling in love time for me is very illuminating. I am grateful for its lessons thus far. I am grateful that I have the ability to live all that I speak. That means not accepting anything less than what I want for my heart and soul. Total, full, deep and abiding love.

I am not afraid to let go of something seemingly good and beautiful when in my heart it does not bring me the love I want, need and deserve.

The questions remain: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?

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AND SO THE BEGINNING IS NEAR

What seemed like the end of the story...the Love Story. Is really becoming the beginning. We have been hot and heavy for the last several weeks. I can't ever remember a time in my life where I had SEX everyday for a 2 1/2 weeks! It is profoundly beautiful. It is profoundly sacred and sensual and delicious. Each time we were...are entwined it is explosive. EXPLOSIVE!

But I could feel his discontent. His quiet references to his moving away. His vow of celibacy that he is contemplating. I have remained silent and stayed in the moment. I did not ask where we are going or if there was room for me and my children. Yesterday all the feelings between us about what happens next came flooding out. Our first fight...(the best fight I ever had) It started with him saying he was enchanted with me...that he was and has always been enchanted with me. And that he must focus and have a clear head. I was so annoyed because enchanted sounded like this was all a fantasy meeting...a chance encounter on his way to his life. I took serious issue and challenged him to explain. I stood in my life and was clear " if there is no room in your life for me and my children then we are ending this right now"

About a week ago he said: think about what our lives would look like joined. How we could make it happen and how it would affect the children. Everything has a time and a place. Yes. I said I will give it thought...serious thought.

Last night after the explosion (sex) we talked. He was annoyed because he thinks talking about serious matters after the explosion is not a good idea because emotions are high and the intensity is well..intense. But he did talk. He wants a courtship. Beginning with a 90 day serious series of discussion and honest sharing of who we are, and what we are willing to bring to the table. (90 days was my time-frame discussion suggestion) So after 90 days we will know if marriage is the next step.

A courtship? So of course I know this IS God's handiwork...last year I did whole post on being courted. I want to be courted TRUE LOVE TUESDAY: COURTING ME.

And so the beginning is near. We are going to court...he is going to court me. He is going to work on his goals for his life and court me.

The LOVE STORY continues...