Sunday, December 21, 2014

Season Of Advent: LOVE

One of my favorite books is Martin Luther King, Jr.'s 'Strength To Love" I reread every so often trying to understand where all that love comes from. I wonder if I have that kind of strength? I wonder if I could love without judgement, in the face of great adversity and hatred? I don't know if I can get to that level. I do know I was shocked and stunned to love my children as each one arrived needing me.

I was always so guarded until they arrived. They opened my heart and in came warmth and joy, and real happiness. Unimaginable feelings that I always thought would never be for me. Sure I loved my siblings deeply. We were connected through blood and circumstances... loving them is/was a given. We were thrown together against great odds and survived.

Marriage gave me a glimpse of what love could be like. My then husband was patient on a lot of levels and on some not so much. I learned a lot in those 13 years. As I look back I can take away the things that add value to my life moving ahead. I can leave the things that blocked me and stifled me. That's OK, it all belonged once upon a time. I can hold all of it sacred.

In this mysterious season of advent... this time of waiting for the blessed event of a child who would save us all. I try to think about love in manageable bits and pieces...  still consuming, but also peaceful and calming. Life in God is like that, passionate and hot, peaceful and calm. That is how I imagine and experience love to be. God has given us so many scriptures on love that we are pulled into fiery passionate heart stopping experiences and in the next breath often find ourselves kneeling by still waters. The passion and the peace called love often are found played out in other sacred works by poets and intellectuals alike. We are all witnesses to the burning passions and the calming coolness of love.

I am inviting myself to embrace the passions and the calm together. I am making room at my table for all that love is. I am open to whatever God sets on my table... be it feast or famine. It all belongs.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Season of Advent: PEACE

I used to think peace was the absence of noise... That peace required absolute silence. I would go to great pains to have quiet in order to have peace. I have come to realize that peace isn't something that I can stage and then summon like a circus act. True peace is the inner stillness from within me. It is tapping that wellspring of quiet that already exists that I can step into regardless of what the noise of the world is. I don't have to run away to the quiet, all I gotta do is be the quiet and God meets me there always. Glad to see me.

This is why I can no longer tolerate bullshit from people. Nor can I ever again entertain other folks ridiculous expectations for my life. And I certainly cannot accept wishing someone into my life. All that bullshit and noise no longer disturbs my peace. I have happily walked toward God... glad to make his friendship and truly appreciating his advice and undeserved grace.
That is the beauty of this season of advent... waiting and learning and celebrating!

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Season Of Advent: HOPE

The events of the last few months... and weeks have almost rendered me hopeless. My soul is weary and tired. I am trying to hold onto the wisdom of those that have come before me.. Fannie Lou Hammer, Rosa Parks, Ida B. Wells, Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, and so many other women warriors. I go back and read their lives and meditate on their words...

Ain't gonna let noting turn me around.... sick and tired of being sick and tired. I hold onto those words like a life raft. I go to my knees in fervent prayer. Oh dear us all.

And then I remember... all shall be well all manner of things shall be well. I have real history with that understanding. it has been my personal experience. This is the season of waiting. This is the season of hope against hope. To lose hope is to lose my humanity. I am not ready to give up. Too many folks on the front lines walking the walk. The Christ story is about not quitting... keeping hope alive even in the face of persecution. Even as frustrated and angry as I am or seem to be getting, deep down I have this sense of Hope stirring in me. Inviting me to keep the faith. Shifting and rolling with the flow even if it hurts or stuns or almost breaks me.

I hope for peace for myself, my family and friends. I hope for peaceful resolutions to the worlds problems. I believe hope is the foundation for moving forward. I hope to fall in love...and stay there. I hope to be prosperous. I hope God never leaves my side....I know he will not.

I hope for goodness and mercy to follow me all the days of my life.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Season Of Advent: JOY

I find joy in the most unlikely places... like today, I was behind this car driving so slow all I could do was cuss, and rant. And then I remembered something I read long ago, that perhaps I should see this little inconvenience as the angels intervening to save my life... deliberately slowing me down. Otherwise I would be racing to my to my death possibly. As I thought about this I begin to smile and think to myself, yeah, I can absolutely see that. Therein lies the joy... being open to Angels saving my life. I am noticing the angels handiwork in just about everything I put myself in. This is the kind of spiritual thinking I've longed for. Noticing God everywhere and in everything.

This is the Season Of Advent: anticipating the coming of Christ. In that coming I notice and experience and invite Joy, Hope, Peace and Love into my life and into the world.

So over the next 3 remaining Sundays, I am going to talk about Joy, Hope. Peace, and Love.

I love living in the big space of joy. Things that fill my heart warmly and fully. My smiling happy obnoxious children, positive words of encouragement from my sister-friends, laughing hours on the phone with my blood sister, my generous church family, my neighbors (Christians and Jews) who look out and check in. A home of my own, with a roaring fire and superb french wine, organic chicken in the oven and my fresh Christmas tree that smells like heaven.

I feel the presence of God. I have invited him in to my home and heart. This season brings me closer to the spiritual maturity I desire. Everything is rooted in my walk with God. Every relationship, every work thing, every bond I make or break. This Season of Advent reminds me... and calls me to anticipate MORE! And I do I do!


Thursday, November 27, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving

Thankful for every good thing in my life!
Thankful for all the trials and tribulations.
Thankful for the possibilities ahead!
Good fortune. Good friends. Good times.

Happy Thanksgiving! Peace be unto you.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

I Saw A Photo Of A Man So Fine....

I am winning at my life and man it feels good. The tides of fortune have turned in my favor and baby I am lapping it up!

I saw a picture of the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life. He is an artist... poet... world renown photographer. He does not know me, nor I him. Our paths keep crossing on the world wide web.  But if there was ever anyone close to my ideal it would be him. Decisive, soft, a fine eye for fine things and real connection to God. A renaissance man... oh how I love renaissance men.  Brothers who walk the world sure... bold and always in love. And get this, he lives in NOLA. The place my heart longs for. The place that was made for a woman like me... mysterious, sultry, friendly and oh oh oh so sexy. I love the fantasy of him. I love the reality of him. I like that such a man of my dreams exists. No I do not plan to pursue him. It is not about him. This is about the kind of man my heart and soul connects to. His words captured me and I know that mediocre...indecisive men won't do ever again. EVER.

That is the lesson, to seek and be open to men and people who speak to your heart and soul. To leave folks who are a mess alone. I am not a mess. I do not have to invite foolishness into my space. I get it.

Finding the photo of the very beautiful artist and having his words and photographs find me is not about him at all. It's about me turning a corner and stepping into the desires of my heart. I may never meet the beautiful artist whose eyes haunt me and whose words lift me to another realm of consciousness... Yes I've have been fucking him in my mind since the moment I saw him... but that's my fantasy. And really even my fantasy of his sexiness is small in comparison to his aura... that is felt even from this distance and without introduction. This is not about sex solely... this is desire for all that he, community, God, beauty of Black people and love of self. I see it for myself... all that excites me, moves me. Few have done that for me... and really it has been decades since this part of myself has been aroused by art and the artist. I like it. There is a deep untapped artist within and I think he calls it forth in some way. I suspect he has that affect on all who see him and experience him.

I say all this to say, that in my happiness state of being, I am not thirsty. I can drink freely and effortlessly from the well of life. I am walking the world a very happy, freed woman. I am rediscovering the kind of man I have yet to happen upon; this Brother reminds me and makes very hopeful that what I seek is seeking me.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014


I found this, this morning. It has stopped me COLD. God is speaking to me... this is the message. This is where I have been going. All of this is what I have been doing. This is everything of the moment. Path Illuming.

Taurus & Taurus Rising
We teach other people how to treat us. We teach other people what our worth is. We teach other people what our value is. We teach other people how to value us. We teach other people how to devalue us. We teach other people how to misuse or abuse us. And we teach other people when we are finished learning those lessons
We teach what we most need to learn. We master what we learn to teach. 
I encourage you to take some time this Tuesday to recognize the ways in which you have grown in this area of life. The past couple of years could have felt a little demolishing to your self-esteem in the realm of relationships. But all the cosmos was really trying to get you to do was stand up for yourself, harness your ability to treat yourself with respect and then to act that out in your intimate affairs. These lessons are now coming to a close so make sure you turn your homework in before too late.
But time has yet to run out. Whatever ground you have covered in terms of these lessons is valuable. In fact it’s extremely important that you don’t devalue what you’ve done because it wasn’t enough in your estimation. 
Saturday’s new moon occurs in your Eighth House of wow, I didnt realize I was so obsessed with [insert name here]. It’s also the house of wow, Im not going to live forever and the house of wow, I really lose a lot of power when I allow my fears to control my life. It’s a good weekend to acknowledge some of those beasts. It’s a good weekend to break the habits that bind you to superstition, delusions and irrational reactions to an apparent loss of power. 

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